Big Thoughts

We're back home from our wonderful week of retreat. Today's a snow day...again! I have loads of laundry and housework and church work to do. But I wish I could curl up in a corner and think big thoughts.

• I want to process the retreat, think about what I've taken away and what that means in my life.
• I desperately need to pray and evaluate the tears and broken heart of my littlest boy, who once again got in trouble at school. Is the strict legalism of this place harming my child?
• I want to contemplate my oldest going off to college and pray for God to help him in this decision making process.
• I want to seek God about what to get off my plate and what to put on. I can feel that He is changing my ministry, but it's so blurry right now.
• And...I have to make some kind of sense out of the last episode of Lost Season 2!

Well, I have some big thoughts in this head of mine.

...except for the Lost Season 2 comment, ignore that one...

Good thoughts. I like these thoughts because I know that they lead somewhere. As I think and pray and listen, God will reveal to me the answers. And in the revealing I will get to know Him better.

Always a good thing.

Pastor's & Wives Retreat

I'm headed out the door to one of my favorite events, our district's Pastor's Wives Retreat, held at the Carlisle Inn in Sugarcreek, OH.

I wrote about it a bit here.

I can't wait!

The Inn has wireless, so I may post a bit. If I don't, you'll know why.

Saturdays As Me

Today I pay for my frivolous fun. I will pull out my pastor's wife super hero cape...

which in my mind looks like the 1969 LGB Little Red Riding Hood...

I will lace up my tennis shoes and fly like the wind.

Saturdays are crunch day in a ministry family. If the week was busy, if everything didn't get done, it has to be done today. Sometimes we've been up till early morning hours preparing for worship the next day.

Today will include copying last week's sermon tapes, copying bulletins, preparing for communion, packing tubs of supplies for our Sunday evening Agape Dinner, and making a slideshow of 2007 pictures.

In addition to dispensing hugs, snacks, stories, and a listening ear as resident mom.

Probably not every pastor's wife is as involved in her husband's ministry as me. But I am. And I wouldn't change it. Before I even dated Brian I felt called to ministry. I wasn't sure how to define it as a young single woman, but I trusted that God would.

And God did. I have the privilege of working as a ministry partner with my husband.

Being a pastor's wife looks like many things. Today, for me, it will look like a blur.

Overheard...

...by her Sunday School teacher.

"Dear Jesus, thank You that I got the mostest gifts..."

What a proud moment for the preacher's wife...

Why Ps. 103:1-5 Is My Story

Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. 2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Psalm 103:1-5 is the theme of this blog. Specifically, vs. 5 filters my blog content. I want to concentrate on "The Good Things", because my nature is just the opposite.

Psalm 103:1-5 is my story, mine and my husband's. These five verses have marched through our lives like an advancing army. There was little remaining when we reached vs. 3.

Then God began His redeeming work in vs. 4. And now, in vs. 5, He is renewing us.

On January 1, 2002, my husband's long hidden addiction to pornography tore into our lives. It shredded our ministry, our security, our marriage, our home. 2002 was spent in a dark basement, trying to pick up the pieces.

During that first year, we found a church that would love and accept us, found counselling, and began to learn the reality of vs. 3.

Over the course of four years, God freed my husband, healed our hearts and wove our family back together. It wasn't easy. We fought sin, depression, and poverty. But beautiful things came out of that time of fire.

On January 1, 2006, the same church that walked beside us, asked my husband to be their pastor. Now we minister together to the same people who ministered to us. Clearly God worked the miracle of verse 4 in our lives.

Today, we live in verse 5. The hurts of the past sometime still threaten us. The burdens of the ministry can weigh upon us. We sometimes still feel charred and tired and old. But I feel God calling us to find "The Good Things" and to join Him as He "renews our youth like the eagle's".

There are many things that bring me joy: some big, some small. They may not excite you, but that's OK. This blog is for me. My project to chronicle what brings me joy and what is renewing my youth.

I pray you find a bit of joy when you visit here.

I Can Fly

The name of my blog comes from a Little Golden Book of the same title, written by Ruth Krauss sometime in the 1960s. My blog theme is based on the illustrations from this little picture book, illustrated by Mary Blair.

I just love the chunky little legs and arms Mary gave that dark haired girl. And Ruth Krauss gave her wonderful spunk and confidence.

When I grow up I want to be this little girl. I've already got the chunky arms and legs. Alas my hair never was that dark and now it's turning gray. But, no worries! L'Oreal Preference can rectify that.

But that little-dark-haired-girl's big attitude doesn't come from any bottle. She seems to find joy in every circumstance. She views life with the confidence and joy that only someone four years old could do.

Like I said...I want to grow up to be her.

Let's just enjoy her together. Storytime!

Original text in black, my useless comments in blue.

I Can Fly

by Ruth Krauss

A bird can fly.

So can I.
Wings?...pshaw...just stand on a swing!

A Cow can moo.

I can too.
so what if I'm not worship team material...I can join the cow choir!

I can squirm

like a worm.
handy skill for getting through the masses during hand-shaking time so I can get to the bathroom...also good as a morning stretch.

I can grab

like a crab.
ahhh, to take that leap of faith from one ring to the other and not...let...go. Only God and four year olds.

Crunch crunch crunch

I'm a goat out to lunch.
who knew that I could pretend to be a GOAT while I ate celery! Possibly if I eat the stuff for the SOUND rather than the taste, I just might not have to throw out bags of celery slime once a month...

Who's busy like a bee?

Me me me.
Guilty. But the wrong kind of busy. I want to be like this little girl. Busy at the fun of life...busy like the bee touring the flowers.

Who can walk like a bug?

Me! Ug ug.
Not in about twenty years. What's the key here? Should I do Leslie Sansone while watching Spidey?

I'm merrier

than a terrier.
Yes, yes, yes. Help me Lord! I want to have those sparkly eyes and that laugh! Where did it go?

Swish!

I'm a fish.
Gotta work on this one too. Haven't been a swimmer since they fished me out of the pool at ten or twelve years old. Adult swimming lessons.... do they make floaties for plus size women?

Pick pick pick

I'm a little chick.
Another project...get over my bird phobia. After being flogged by every duck, turkey, goose and zoo peacock that ever met me, I'm emotionally scarred.

Who can live in a hole?

Me! Like a mole.
Philippians 4:11 in a children's story book! Bravo Ruth Krauss! Sometimes we ministry wives have to live in mole holes...

Who can climb anywhere?

Me! Like a bear.
Like on top of chairs while 7 months pregnant while the only adult in children's church with ten or so children... can't remember why though.

My house is

like a mouse's.
Thankfully, mine is not. With five kids this big house is a gift from God. When it needs cleaned, that's another story!

A clam

is what I am.
Vacation on the beach. Bake in the sand. No one knows who I am. Now that is fun!!

Pop pop pop

I'm a rabbit with a hop.
Energy. Gotta get some.

Bump bump bump

I'm a camel with a hump.
It's a little early for osteo, but she does remind me that I need to take a calcium supplement!

Haw haw haw

I'm a donkey in the straw.
Laughter is ALWAYS good medicine.

Pitter pitter pat

I can walk like a cat.
Mothers learn this skill during their first child's naptime. It also comes in handy at church. When leaving during the song, and shazam, you always walk back in during prayer time!

Howl howl howl

I'm an old screech owl.
I'm confused. The illustration seems to refer to a peaceful "whoo." A good soothing skill for mothers of small children. But the word choice seems to refer to skills I've learned as a mother of teenagers. Hmmm....oh well, I've got them both covered.

Gubble gubble gubble

I'm a mubble in a pubble.
Wonderful, glorious nonsense. I definitely need more of that in my life, don't you?

I can play

I'm anything that's anything.
This is what we've lost. I've lost. The play. In whatever circumstance or place God puts me in, I want to find the play and the joy. I think it's there, even in the dark times.

That's MY way.
Mine, too. I hope. Some day. Thank you little-dark-haired-girl. Thank You, Father.

Satisfied with The Good Things

I'm a negative thinker. I come from a well-stocked gene pool of negative thinkers. Why God made me a pastor's wife is beyond my ken. Maybe 1 Corinthians 1:27 is the key...

But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise...

Negative thinking is a challenge. It's a challenge when trying to love five children. It's a challenge when trying to relate to a husband. It's a challenge when trying to serve a church.

If there's one verse that has helped me as a pastor's wife, it's Proverbs 17:28. I've toyed with making it my life verse.

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he
holds his tongue.

This verse works! I wish I had cash money for every time someone has complimented me on my gentleness, wisdom, accomplishments, peacefulness. My peacefulness!?! Ha!

But I've only mastered this verse in public settings. My family gets full view of my negativity and knows who I really am.

A few years ago I committed the first five verses of Psalm 103 to memory. I've decided to meditate on those verses, using them as a springboard for positive thinking. God has done many, many good things in my life. It's my goal with this blog to share them.

God has done some amazing and miraculous things in my life. I will share those. But God has also done equally wonderful things in small details of my life. I will share those too. So I have two self-imposed criteria for this blog: 1) share something good for me; 2) share something good for someone else.

Psalm 103

Praise the LORD, O my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the LORD, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.